Into the Unknown (or What the Hell Am I Doing?)
I thought I’d feel different today. More certain. More solid. But my book is being delivered, my website is live, and instead of confidence, I feel like I just threw everything into the void and now I’m standing here waiting to see if it echoes back.
What the hell am I doing?
I built this thing—this website, this table, this book—but now it’s just floating out there. No roadmap. No instructions. Just me, hoping it finds its way into the right hands. Hoping someone stumbles across it, feels something, and maybe even supports the work.
But then, what even is “the work”?
I just want to write. I want to put my soul on a page, crack open what’s inside, and see what spills out. But writing doesn’t come with a business plan. It doesn’t tell you how to get paid or how to keep going when doubt creeps in and whispers, Was this a mistake?
Maybe I rushed this. Maybe I should’ve had a logo, a brand, a strategy. Maybe my website should be something more polished, more separate from just me. But then again, I didn’t want to separate it. I wanted everything—my words, my work, my woodworking, my stories—to exist in one place, to breathe together. And maybe that’s messy. Maybe that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
So now what?
I guess I just keep moving. Keep writing. Keep showing up. Keep letting this thing take shape in real-time instead of trying to force it into a neat little box before it’s even had a chance to grow.
I’ll tweak the website. I’ll throw my link up on Instagram, maybe even figure out how the hell marketing emails work. But I won’t let all that noise keep me from the thing I actually love: writing.
Because at the end of the day, that’s the only way I know how to find my way forward.
And if you’re here, reading this, maybe you’re feeling that too. That freefall. That what the hell am I doing? energy. If you are—good. It means you’re alive. It means you’re in it. It means you’re building something real.
So let’s step forward. Let’s keep creating. Even when we can’t see what’s next.
We’ll figure it out as we go.